For the past two and a half weeks, I’ve been traveling across the United States visiting various national points of interest, such as Denny’s restaurants and gas stations. I’ve been trekking from state to state with my father. We’re pulling a fifth-wheel camper roughly the size of a blimp hangar. [My room is in the East Wing, just upstairs from the bowling alley.]
In recent weeks, I’ve found the need to put destination-wedding packages together for several Iowa couples who’ll come from all four corners of this great state this summer. From a “Bridges of Madison Co.” package for a couple from Dubuque, to an “Iowa’s Capitol” package (with a rooftop wedding that over looks the Capitol building) for a couple from Council Bluffs, all four of them will sparkle and dazzle, I promise.
In about two months, I’m going to have some facial surgery—what I have been describing as a “super-duper-duper facelift.” This is so that I can “pass” more easily as a woman—the woman I actually am. Fortunately, God gave me a fairly androgynous face, and soon, a plastic surgeon in Chicago named Zukowski will take it a few steps farther and give me truly female brows, eyes, chin and nose. As Dr. Z has said, “you have good features, but I’ll make you look stunning.” He may have forgotten that he was talking to an attorney when he made that statement, but I loved hearing it nonetheless. Certainly, the hundreds of before-and-after photographs of his work are a testament to his skills as both a surgeon and an artist. I can’t wait to see the results.
During these past few weeks, I’ve headed South and had the opportunity to check out a fabulous NEW resort (and gay weddings venue!) on Rathbun Lake called Honey Creek Resort, and all I can say is I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!
A few days before Mother’s Day this year, I was in a convenience store talking to the clerk, a nice person but a stranger. As I walked out the door, she wished me “Happy Mother’s Day.” This was the first time someone had ever said this to me, and it was heartfelt at that, given she believed I was a genetic female. It warmed me. Acceptance. Parenthood. Becoming a member of a new club—a women’s only club.
These are two of the most powerful words when it comes to weddings… both Gay and Straight, and I feel like this is an important time to address them. Especially since last month was PRIDE month
This is about how a piece of stale bread cost me more than $2000. And about how I have a greater appreciation for what people in the Gulf are going through with the oil spill. Leave it to me to make strange connections.
Ellen Krug is a writer, lawyer, human. She was a trial attorney for 28 years before realizing there is more to life. She is now on sabbatical to write a book, and if that does not work out, to wait tables. She is parent to two adult children and hoping for the best, despite the odds.
Since coming out as transgendered, one of the things people say to me goes like this: “Oh, you must feel like a teenager again, starting all over with a new life.” I have to admit that some of this is true: I do feel like a teenager again (even to the point of taking acne medicine), but this is not necessarily a good thing. One of the negatives is that I’m learning things all over. Like dating. Like being alone. Like wondering if I’m cute enough to attract someone other than the guy left after last call.
I’ve probably gone on 100 dates of one sort or another since 2004. And just to be sure that all of my bases are covered, I have dated both men and women. One would think that this “doubles my chances” for a happy relationship. In reality, it just means more chances for me to meet people who absolutely will not provide me with a happy relationship. I can report that I’ve not disappointed myself in that regard. I had never thought finding a quality, durable relationship would be so difficult. Of course, maybe it’s just me, Princess Ellen.
So as a 53 year old teenager, let me report on some lessons learned on the 21st century dating front.
Flipping through a recent issue of Out Magazine, I happened upon an advertisement for Calvin Klein Jeans. In it, there are four very young models, three of whom are male. Each is wearing nothing but a pair of denim pants, including the single young model that is obviously not-so-male, whose bosoms are strategically obscured.
I am a bit ashamed to admit that, being a gay man and initially responding hormonally, my reaction to the layout was somewhat narrow-minded. Why on God's great earth is there a girl in this photograph? was my brazenly narrow-minded hormonally motivated initial reaction.
For at least twenty-five minutes I attempted to interpret this photographic statement. I doubt I'd have had so much trouble with the impression if the advertisement had appeared in, say, Details or GQ Magazine. But no, this was Out Magazine! I know because I flipped back to the cover several times to make sure I wasn't accidentally reading Esquire or Popular Mechanics or The Journal of Psychiatric Injuries and Abnormalities. No such luck, though. It was undoubtedly Out.